I'd like to think I am a calm, happy, and positive person. Challenging this is my ever massing discontent and "fuck this shit" attitude towards my drawing class. This semester has been very different as I only have one studio as opposed to 2-3. I had hoped that this class would be inspiring and help me progress technically as an artist. Saying that the class hasn't helped me out with finding direction would be a lie, but my new found directions have been a response to my frustration and general pissed-off-ness with this class.
It is advanced drawing class and I expected more critical discussions, more intense projects, and in general a more engaging atmosphere. What we have is:
1. sloppy art being created (I am not innocent of this either) that isn't challanged, but instead justified with hyper conceptualization
2. an instructor who never opens up critiques with student voices, but Its own (I won't reference gender so from now on It is called It).
3. critiques that last the entire week leaving zero time for actual drawing (we have literally had about 4 full work days in class for the first half of this semester. WTF)
4. a collaborative project that It wants us to do that is not fully related to the class (tip of the ice berg).
5. an It with pretentious artist vibes that unlike most things actually bother the fuck out of me. this has bolstered my disinterest in grad school and the elite art world.
Now, I'm not much of a ranter so my online and real world rants about this subject amongst my fellow students (many of which agree with my beliefs, some even striking sparks with It) come as something of a suprise to me. Thinking about this more and more I have found quite a few benefits from this conflict. It has challanged me to think in new directions and accommidate the bigger picture of what I want to do in life with my art. Also, how am I going to challange myself when It won't. How am I going to grow technically without someone else pushing me? These questions have made me realize once again that I am ultimately the one who decides how much I learn and how good I am. The initial helpless victimized mentality I had has begun to transform into something rather empowering. With my new collaborative graphic novel project with my roomate I have found a new channel for this frustration.
:( ---> :)
(unlike most all images here the one in this post was from google img)
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